Learn why and where your true power lies
Recently, I talked to a plant manager. I don't remember how we got there, but the conversation ended up being interesting.
He said his job is to motivate the people who work for him. My ears perked up because I know we can't control other people, which is the opposite of what we might think.
It made me wonder how many plant managers feel stressed, because they feel responsible for their employees' emotions. This hit home for me because he had a serious health scare that could've been stress-related, which led to the health condition.
In my 'Be Better' program, I teach people about emotional adulthood. Emotional adulthood is when we take responsibility for our emotions and what we create in our lives. The opposite of emotional adulthood is emotional childhood. This is where we hold others responsible for how we feel and what we do in our lives, so that we can feel better.
Another concept I teach is called 'the model'. I learned this method from my master coach instructor Brooke Castillo. The model is a tool that lets us see how we create our lives.
The model shows us that circumstances in our life don't cause anything. For example, if one of your direct reports keeps screwing up, it doesn't make you frustrated. Even though it may feel like he/she not following through is what's causing your frustration, it's actually your thoughts or what you make not following through mean that you feel frustrated. Someone else may think he/she has conflicting priorities and feels curious, not frustration. The circumstance of not following through is the same in both cases, so it's not the circumstance that causes the feeling.
The act of not completing a task doesn't make you feel anything, in and of itself, until you have a thought about it. And, if you follow my blogs, you will know that thoughts are optional, and often not true. Yet, they can lead to serious health scares.
This is good news, because it means you have more power in your life and business than you think. With this knowledge, you'll realize you have control over your thoughts and don't have to compulsively respond to what's happening.
But when you think you can control others, you're taking away their ability to learn this lesson, so they don't have any agency in their lives and at work. It makes you always responsible, when you are not. It leads to stress and overwhelm, because it's impossible. And, it's expensive. Think of how much time, energy and resources are used to manage employee satisfaction.
When you constantly put out emotional fires, you as a leader have to abandon your post of looking forward and setting the vision, which reduces your bandwidth to manage the big picture. So much attention is focused on things you can't control, leaving the things you can influence unmanned, making your business vulnerable to your competition.
A deeper dive into the conversation with the plant manager revealed the thought that was underpinning his belief that he was responsible for motivating them. It was that he believed he should surround himself with people smarter than him. Therefore, it was understandable why he felt a deep desire to keep them motivated.
It made sense.
The only thing is, he's not always motivated to keep them motivated. It becomes this arduous, knuckle grinding task of will-power to always be on, so that you can make other people feel positively. But you don't have to go about it this way to reach your business goals.
People don't need you to motivate them, they need you to be motivated. We tend to use lack of motivation as an excuse when things aren't going well. Try looking deeper.
What if you just let go of trying to motivate or make anyone feel anything? What if you focus on how you feel?
As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul...." - Hermes Trismegistus
We only experience things from our own perspective, so others reflect ourselves. If you want a motivated workforce, be motivated. If things aren't going well, look within, but look with compassion, non-judgment and curiosity.
It's pretty humbling to realize that we only have control over ourselves. Make a list of all the things you actually have control over. Humbling, right?
However, it is very empowering and, frankly, easy. When you release the need to control the uncontrollable, ironically, you gain control and are likely to have a more positive outcome.
We are Estrella Results Coaching, LLC. We believe better people build better businesses! And, we believe in you.
Be Better!
P.S.
If you are ready to explore how you can 'be better' and create better results for your business by leveraging your CI culture. Book your free session today! Let's see how I can help.
We will talk about your most troubling circumstances and unpack why you aren't seeing the results you'd like to see. At the end of this 30-45 minute call, you'll know the root cause and what to do to turn things around.
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Your employees have agency! They can do it, they just need the steps, but it requires a calm mind and a growth mindset.
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