I recently had a new neighbor move in a house in our culdesac. They purchased the house before a for sale sign could go in the yard, and began making improvements that went on for months. Once that work was drawing to an end, they started to move in.
The first thing I noticed were all the toys and the nice luxury car. I finally saw an older man, who I assumed was the contractor doing the work, then I saw a younger woman and two small kids. I began to feel so much resentment.
Our culdesac has nothing but older adults, so it's very quiet. We love our neighbors. We look out for each other, pick up each other's mail and newspapers, take out and bring up the trash and recycling bins. After storms, we pick up fallen limbs, and my son has even done lawn work for one of our neighbors who had heart surgery.
Then, we met the new neighbor. It's an older couple who moved in with their daughter, and her two small kids. I was instantly in love with this family, and all the resentment went away.
What was different? MY THOUGHTS.
Before knowing them, I thought, "those kids will be loud." Then, I felt resentment.
After learning their situation, my thought was "they must love their daughter and grand children so much." Then, I felt love.
What's the lesson? When I had one thought, I suffered. When I had a different thought, I didn't.
The same is true in your life. If you suffer from anger, hurt, jealousy, judgment, fear, you name it, it's only because of a thought. And, thoughts are optional. You don't have to believe them.
Finding a "better feeling thought" will change your suffering in less than a milli-second.
I know what you are thinking! Tiffiney, what if my thought is true?
It doesn't matter if it's true or not, what matters is noticing if it's helpful or not in the moment.
I noticed when I had thoughts of love, I felt love. That's incredibly empowering, because that means I AM THE ONE IN CONTROL of my experience, not anyone else.
This is why Jesus said, "love thou neighbor", because when I do, I feel love. And, all along, I thought it was about the other person. It's about me. It's about us. Feeling love.
The kids could still be loud, but I won't notice, because I will BE in love!
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